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Angela from Sleepaway Camp FOR PRESIDENT 2004
Home | Dedicated Mission | The Issues | How to Get Involved And Stop America's Youth From Turning Up Dead

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Hey, I hear the 80s are making a comeback! That is my idea. My idea of a clever joke.
My name is Angela. Not Peter. Angela. Angela. I was the star. Of the big hit movie "Sleepaway Camp." I am running for President of the United States of America this year because I would like to be President of the United States. Help me win.

Mmm mmm mmm MMMMM mmm mmm....That's the sound of a song I sing when I am cradling a boy's head in my lap, naked on the beach. It's also the sound I make when I'm running for President. It's the sound of progress.

"You? It can't be you!"
-Mel
 
Not so. Running a campaign is a significant challenge. I need more experience. You can help me. It is time, maybe. Time that somebody stood up. Stood up for the little guy. The little guy with a little penis who makes werewolf noises that everybody makes fun of because his mother said he was a girl when he wasn't and he can't play volleyball or swim, he can't swim, and then he gets angry and it is time to shoot them with arrows and hack and burn their vaginas with hot curling irons again.
 
"Ben! Ben! Help, Ben!" 
-the child molesting chef as he is about to fall because I made him
 
I will be tough on child molesters. I vow to wait until they are in the kitchen. When they are in the kitchen I will scamper under the table. Then I will not be under the table. I will be behind them. I will take their chairs away. Child molesters are a problem. The problem is that they are molesting children. Instead of building schools.
 
"She's a real carpenter's dream! Flat as a board and needs a screw!"
-Judy
When I am President, I will not be putting cigars anywhere other than the trashcan. I don't like cigars. I don't think I like sex very much. Sometimes with Paul. But not Paul because he is dead. And having sex with dead people is a
slippery slope.
 
 

Definitely Not The Killer

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This is another photo of me. I am not someone else.

A campaign poster for me
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It will attract voters. And attention.

Campaign Headquarters * Camp Arawak* New York* USA